Balancing Act:

Imagine you are on a balance beam, your mind is thinking of all the possibilities of what could go wrong. You look from side to side trying with all your might to remain centered on the beam because the last thing you want to do is fail.

Now that you have a clear picture, have you ever realized that it is so much easier to balance if you look up then if you look side to side? Well, this is the perfect analogy for what has been going on as of late in my life. God has been showing me that I spend so much time thinking of all the possibilities of what could be and I either just freeze and don't move or I fall because I am not focused where I need to be focused.

On Sunday the sermon was the presentation of the Gospel from Galatians, and since I've been a follower of Christ for some time those sermons unintentionally I tend kind of zone out. This time there was conviction that struck my heart. God showed me that I have been in a "works" mindset. I had place expectations over myself that I had to perform at a certain level in order for it to be good enough for God. Which is completely wrong! I realized I was forgetting the power of the cross. So Sunday with Sarah Young by my side I confessed that I was done trying to impress God to gain His acceptance and released myself, flaws and all, back into His hands.   Seriously felt like I could breathe deeper, and it is just the beginning of the freedom that's available through Christ.

That is just a piece of what has been going on lately. Last week was my first time attending a small group that is part of the Eleven 22 Church. The cool thing is that I have instantly connected with the girls from the group. I wound up walking on the beach with one of the girls named Emily, where we just got to know each other more. (to preface what I am about to share it is necessary for me to say that before I came to Jacksonville I thought that God might be leading me to India, but after time of searching and praying India hasn't even came back up to me once. In fact, I haven't been able to stop thinking about Africa and working within an orphanage. Though I had no idea where in Africa.) Now that you know that, Back to Emily and my walk. She shared with me that I should meet this couple from Eleven 22 that stated an orphanage in Uganda named Okoa Refuge (www.okoarefuge.org). She had no idea about my thoughts on Africa, and for me hearing that is was in Africa and was an orphanage it definitely peaked my interest. The next day was Sunday (which I've already shared what happened that evening) but during that afternoon i found the website for the orphanage. I was the first time that i felt such a connection with a ministry in a long time. I literally started crying. Am I saying I'm called to go to Uganda, no. I do think, however, even if it was just to remind me of my love for missions again and to feel the Lord's love for the nations. I am hoping to meet with that couple soon.

So spare you a novel of a blog, here are a few things that have happened since I have realized to stop my balancing act:
1. I have started to get together with friends I've made and do nights with worship on the beach.
2. I got the opportunity to minister to a guy named Tez who is currently homeless in the beach area. (Please pray with me that God with grab his heart.)
3. I have started a search for a second job, of which I have been interviewed at a Cuban restaurant and the whole interview consisted of the manager and me talking about missions and God. At the end the manager told me that he had been having a rough day and was just ready to go home, he said that my interview with him brought refreshment and changed the view of his day.

Lastly, I don't say any of this to brag, but to say that if you put your focus on God and stop the balancing act you never know what could happen. I am excited for today knowing that he will direct me for tomorrow.

Please pray with me that God will continue to speak and lead me to opportunities to advance His kingdom. Also on my journey of getting out of debt, I never know when He's gonna send me!