Perfect Example

In the last few weeks I seriously have been being taken into a deeper understanding of who God is and in turn my identity has been being revealed. But this last week I received an understanding of God in such a way that I've never before seen.

Let me first start by saying I'm by nature a "fixer." I like to overcome obstacles and see individuals set free. Which in the right context is great, I can be someone who champions,  calls out truth, and identity in others because even when a person is what people would call "a bad person" I still see who they could be if surrendered to Christ. Well, in my past this gift has been very taken advantage of by men I have had relationships with. It would start by me seeing a need and trying to fill it, and in turn because of the confusion of my compassion I would develop an attraction to the person they could be instead of the reality of where they were. I wasn't just acting as their girlfriend in all honesty I was their "mother." So now here I am pouring every ounce of me into a relationship and receiving nothing back in turn. Some people respond by treating others the same way as their are being treated and looking for love from other people, but not me. I responded by pursuing them even more. I would fight for their attention anything they wanted or asked of me I would do. I mean anything. There are so many scenarios within the relationships that were unhealthy, but let me jump now to what I realized about my relationship with God and what I desire for my relationship with God. 

In the time of reflecting on my past relationships (which in actuality in the class was literally only 30 seconds maybe, because I knew the whole backstory already) I understood God's pursuit of me and it was incredibly convicting. God is wholeheartedly pursuing me and YOU. He always has, is now, and always will be. For the first time because of the memory of my pursuit of others love I could literally see what it looked like. No God doesn't do unhealthy things, but he will do whatever it takes to grab our attentions. He is the pursuer of our hearts. He aches when we, his children, turn from him and choose to give our attentions else where.

Sadly, that means I make his heart ache often.

You see what I realized is that in my relationship with God I'm very close to doing the same thing most of my ex's did to me, but to the purest, unconditional lover of my soul! The one difference is, I want to change. I want to give him more of my love, I want to know him more, I want to know what brings him joy, and what makes him hurt. Truly I want to respond to him the way he responds to me. He doesn't deserve only part of me, he is worth everything I could ever have to offer. I could live the rest of my life loving to the fullest of my ability and it still wouldn't amount to what he deserves. But in his Grace he joins me and walks with me as I am learning to die to self. Like this scripture

 Psalm 27:4

Or the song "This is My Desire," I do desire to give my full heart, and my full attention and I know that is the exact journey the Lord has me on, and I am so thankful I have him as a perfect example. 

Evangelism as I see it

Evangelism...

...just that word provokes fear in the hearts of people. Mostly because of the possible rejection they might receive.

Over the past few weeks God has really be stirring my heart. In fact every morning I wake about an hour before my alarm is even set to go off and have such a hunger and desire to hear from God. He has been transforming my heart and perspectives in such a huge way. I literally have been in awe of His creation from the dew covered spider webs, to the changing of the leaves. Not to mention when in our times of intercession for our overseas missionaries, and for unreached people groups I have received such a heart not just for a specific place I want to do ministry but a heart for the nations. Every time we intercede I literally weep at the thought of them not knowing God as I do. What a luxury I have in having a comforter, counselor, and friend who is the God of the Universe!

Last week I got the opportunity to teach the Discipleship Training School (DTS) at Youth With a Mission (YWAM) Nashville on evangelism. And as I was preparing for that teaching God was revealing so much to about the heart of evangelism instead of the common responsibility. What I came to realize even in myself the reason I always feared evangelism is because I always placed some sort of responsibility on myself for "something" to happen. So I was being driven by works instead of heart. So to put it plainly what does the heart of evangelism look like?

Again this is what I feel God has shown me and it may be different for you but let me continue:

He showed me that we first have to know the message we are delivering. When I say know, this isn't a knowledge that can be obtained just by reading but this is a heart knowledge that the Holy Spirit has given you. So what is the message? Who is Jesus really? How has it forever changed your life? These are all questions that are apart of the "knowing" the message. The Good News of Jesus Christ forever changes your heart. And honestly I feel like in these past few weeks and specifically this morning during our time of worship I received another piece of that understanding. You see to fully understand the Good News takes a constant relationship with Jesus. Because the more you understand and communicate with him the more depth he shows you. Truly you grow to love Him more and more every moment you invest in that relationship.

The second thing I felt like God showed me about the heart of evangelism is that every act Jesus did from feeding the 5,000 to healing the blind he first felt compassion for them. Saw the need and filled it. How can we take a message to a person if you aren't first willing to practically serve them, and also have a heart for them. So like the times of intercession I was expressing earlier... I have been really developing a heart of compassion but it first is developed in what I stated before in the first key... knowing the message.

The third thing is knowing the role you play, and the role the Holy Spirit plays in evangelism. You aren't the Hero, and you can't convince anyone of truth. Only the Holy Spirit has the power to transform hearts and renew minds. So that gives you the peace to know the pressure isn't on you. You aren't responsible for the way it's received you are to love them, and love God!

I could probably talk for hours about what God has been revealing to me as of late because it's been SO much. But I want you to know God wants the same for you. He wants you to pursue him to know him and to share what he reveals to you with others. Don't let the fear control you because fear really is rooted in works, which leads to the question again do you really know the Good News? When you know it it leaves no room for Fear... so that's evangelism as I see it! 

Light as a feather

No place I'd rather be...

I'm sure thats exactly what those cygnets were thinking as they floated in this pond. (Who knew a baby swan was called a cygnet? I didn't). I mean think about it, we humans get blankets made out of the down feathers because they are warm and cozy. Those babies get not only the warm feathers, but the security of their mother's wing to surround them. And that security is what reminded me of this picture. 

This weekend I've had some time to think as I've been house sitting while family is away. I got out my guitar and just started singing, as I was singing I was then convicted of my insecurity. I realized that I have been letting insecurity be apart of my everyday life, and so many things would come out of my mouth that I would later regret because of the status of my heart. My patience has been short, and my temper quick. Truthfully I've realized that my own worst enemy, myself, was creating a wedge between me and God. It was preventing me from being able to love and trust Him and others as I should. Not to mention pressures the I have been putting on myself to prove my value and worth.  In the midst of a waterfall of tears I asked forgiveness, but then I felt drawn to open my daily verse in my bible app. It was Psalm 91:1-2 "He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will abide in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say to the Lord, "My refuge and my fortress, My God, in whom I trust!" I knew instantly it was God's response to my crying out. He was reminding me where my security comes from.  You see we don't think of feathers something to keep us safe, but that's exactly where we are told to hide. When we place our trust and identity in the Lord, we find security and in that security we find identity and with that identity we can truly be light as a feather because we aren't carrying any of the burdens but just resting in His presence. 

Psalm 91:

1 He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High
 Will abide in the shadow of the Almighty. 2 I will say to the Lord, “My refuge and my fortress, My God, in whom I trust!” 3 For it is He who delivers you from the snare of the trapper 
And from the deadly pestilence. 4 He will cover you with His pinions,
And under His wings you may seek refuge;
 His faithfulness is a shield and bulwark. 5 You will not be afraid of the terror by night,
Or of the arrow that flies by day; 6 Of the pestilence that stalks in darkness,
Or of the destruction that lays waste at noon. 7 A thousand may fall at your side
 And ten thousand at your right hand,
But it shall not approach you. 8 You will only look on with your eyes 
And see the recompense of the wicked. 9 For you have made the Lord, my refuge,
 Even the Most High, your dwelling place. 10 No evil will befall you, Nor will any plague come near your tent. 11 For He will give His angels charge concerning you,
 To guard you in all your ways. 12 They will bear you up in their hands,
That you do not strike your foot against a stone. 13 You will tread upon the lion and cobra, 
The young lion and the serpent you will trample down. 14 “Because he has loved Me, therefore I will deliver him;
I will set him securely on high, because he has known My name. 15 “He will call upon Me, and I will answer him; 
I will be with him in trouble;
I will rescue him and honor him.

16 “With a long life I will satisfy him
And let him see My salvation. 

Life is a great adventure...

Where to begin?

This year has been what only can be described as completely different from what I expected last year as things were ending for the School of Worship.

Things I have not done:
1. Raise my support to the necessary level.
2. Move back to Jacksonville Beach.
3. Go to France for a scouting trip.

Things I have done:
1. Built relationships.
2. Encouraged many young people to go after the dreams God has placed in their hearts.

3. Helped multiple families by serving as a caregiver to their children.
4. Lead worship on a regular basis.
5. Teach the pre-k class at church.
6. Had a mega yard sale to raise funds towards France.
7. Go to Bonnaroo Music Festival with the Tennessee Baptist Convention to do ministry.

Holding Ashraf at "Little Egypt"

Me with new friends made at Bonnaroo            

8. Became an Aunt of 2 new nieces. Ellie Rose (now 4 mo.), and Audrey Lynn (now 4 wks).
9. Flew up to New York for a possible job only for God to show me I was still to pursue France, but hold my idea of what the plans looked like to get there loosely, and to plan on staffing the School of Worship again.
10. Assisted 4 different Short Term Outreaches for Youth With A Mission Nashville where we saw at least 10 people come to know Christ, did street evangelism, encouraged believers, worked in "Little Egypt," as well as challenged the young people to dig deeper in their personal walks with the Lord.
11. Newest thing was I got in a car accident, and am in the process of working through all logistics of insurance claims, and trying to rest enough to let my body heal. But a huge praise is that last month was my last month making a car payment due to my car being totaled. I had been about selling my car, and now (though it wasn't my idea of a good way for there to be resolution) one of the blessings out of the accident is I will no longer have that debt over my head because of the settlement. 1 step closer to being financially free!

(note: there have been a ton more things that have happened this year so far)

My car right after the wreck, it was a total loss.

So as you can see there has been an incredibly huge difference in what I planned, and what God has planned for this year. I am currently still trying to get my finances raised to start full time serving at YWAM Nashville and need at least $235 more in committed support in order to step more in that direction. But I know you wonder why you would give financially and what am I actually going to be doing.

 "Missions exists because 

Worship does not."

-John Piper

Many of you know that last year I got the opportunity to help lead a group of 12 students in pursing a deeper understanding of what it means to worship God. It was three months of intense lecture, then 2 full months of ministry/teaching/and encouraging both here in the U.S. then in Peru. It was so incredible to see the growth in each student. Getting to disciple many young people to pursue God in everything was such a blessing as well as getting to experience seeing peoples eyes opened for the first time to the Gospel of Jesus Christ while doing the outreach portion was nothing less than extraordinary! Well, as you read above in #9, I feel like God is having me put my scouting trip to France on hold because he is leading me to assist in staffing this next School of Worship again, but this time it's going to look different. In September (actually as soon as I can get in the offices) I am going to be recruiting for the school that will be ran by YWAM Nashville staff, but hosted in Cancun, Mexico. Why Cancun? Well, Hugo a dear friend of mine from Mexico City, Mexico came to America to take the School of Worship to one day be able to pioneer down in Mexico. Well, that time has finally arrived for him, and I am getting to be on that pioneering team. I am sure a lot of you could also re-call that one of the reasons originally I staffed the School of Worship was so that one day I too could pioneer the school elsewhere. John Piper says "Missions exist because Worship does not." I truly believe this statement to be true. Jesus told us " Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength and to love your neighbors as yourself" (Luke 10:27), so as soon as we start pursuing intimacy with the Father then an automatic response of worship happens. Where we worship atmospheres shift, hearts are transformed, and people see the Father for who he really is. SO all that being said why not go an disciple others to grow in intimacy with the Father? I desire to see all eyes opened to the truth of who Jesus really is! And worshiping Him is one way eyes will be opened to the truth.

"Life is a great adventure more than 

a destination"

-Jimmie Mac

All this is in steps towards North Africa. One day I will travel to France for a season of language learning and I am sure gaining more tools in my belt for N.A., but I'd rather go in God's timing then go and miss apart of the equipping God is doing now. His timing truly is perfect and every testimony we read about in the Bible shows that everything He does in the process all has purpose. I am going towards Mexico because I know the Lord will do something there that is vital for the future. I recently chatted with my friend Jimmie, who's been an incredible encouragement through his testimonies, and shared what I felt the Lord was speaking, and his response was "Life is a great adventure more than a destination, aye?" That is precisely how I want to walk with the Lord, one day at a time. I can plan and give myself ideas of where I'm headed as long as I keep my eraser on hand whenever the plans change according to God's will.

How you can begin giving and being apart of the discipleship of young people through YWAM Nashville as we pursue intimacy with the Father through worship. 

Thank you so much for taking time to read this and for considering to be a monthly partner. Without you I could never do what I have been called to do. 

Misty

 P.S.
If you have any questions please feel free to contact me via. Mistylwallace85@gmail.com

"It doesn't look anything like her"

Who are we? We are human, but what are we made up of? Over the last few weeks I have really come to realize or should I say understand how temporary this life that we live really is. In James 4 it states that our lives are "but a vapor." Here one moment gone the next. Over the last couple days though specifically this is something I've been thinking A LOT about due to my Step fathers mom passing away at the beginning of this week. She was one who lived a long life. She was raised through the great depression and multiple wars that our country has faced and I'm sure the stories she could tell were by far some of the best to be heard. I sadly didn't get the chance to hear them as it was a short time that I knew her. But going to the services these last couple days did leave a lasting imprint and thoughts in my mind.

On one side I heard her children and grand children share memories and their hearts about how incredible of a woman she was. The sanctuary was all decorated in honor of her, from pictures of her to an amazing display of the pieces of art she painted. It really was a beautiful service. Then on the other side right in the middle of the room was her body laying still in the coffin. Yes, I know you're thinking "well Misty, it was a funeral, that's generally what happens," and I know that, but it really got me thinking.

So you know, since going to past funerals I personally have never been ok with the body of the one who's passed away being put on display. I remember when a dear friend of mine lost his life I went up to the casket to pay my respects to see him one last time, and it ruined me. I looked at him, and all I could think was "thats not him, it looks nothing like him." Well, yesterday I heard the same things coming out of the mouth of Sweet Miss Louise's family. (I knew I wouldn't go up to the casket). So anyways, those words lead me down this thought process.

What are our body's other than a shell? So what are we really?
If we go all the way back to the words in Genesis where man was first created the body was formed out of dust but until God breathed his spirit into him he was lifeless. Nothing more than a puppet in His hand.. It also says Job 33:4 "The Spirit of God has made me, and the breath of the Almighty gives me life." That means everyone living today, all 7+billion of us, have life because of Him. Here's the thing, if he has the authority to give life, he is also the one who has authority to take it away. Which means are our lives really our own? Do we control the breath in our lungs? The thing is Him breathing life into us isn't for no reason. In Jeremiah God spoke to him stating "I knew you, before I formed you in your mothers womb." Wait, so the God of the universe had a specific plan for Jeremiah's life before he was even conceived? YES! That means if he did for Jeremiah he did for us too! It's like an artist before they paint their next piece... there is first nothing, then there's an idea of the creation and then the creation. Miss Louise gave incredible displays to this thought process. Each of us have purpose!

Now let me get back to the words "that looks nothing like her." You're right! Because it's not her. Like I said before out body's are nothing more than a shell, a home for our Spirit's to reside until the Father decides our purpose has been fulfilled. The body's of the dead will never look like the one you loved, because the Breath of Life is no longer pumping through them. Like stated earlier we need to be cautious to not take life in vain. It's fragile, it's a moment, it's gone in a blink of an eye. And only the giver of life can explain to you the purpose of your life. Do you know your Maker? Do you know your original design? No? Please do not wait until it's to late. Surrender to the one who "knew you before conception."

If you want to know more on how to surrender your life, please do not hesitate contacting me.

Blessings!

Standing Still in the Midst of Every Ticking Minute

As I sit here thinking about all the things I can write my mind is flooded, and my eyes are welling up with tears because of being overwhelmed by the how's, what if's, when's etc. I've been given this HUGE dream of getting to North Africa one day to be a messenger of Hope to those who in many cases don't realize that that's what they've been searching for all their lives. To get there is a hard journey, one that seems to be so incredibly daunting that my mind can't fathom how it will ever happen. I've asked friends who are currently serving in other nations if they ever doubted, and they've responded that "it's part of the journey." Though I was relieved to hear it from people I deeply respect there is still that roller coaster of emotions that I feel on a weekly basis. Sometimes it's an incredible excitement then other times my logic gets the best of me. I think though that it's my perspective and heart attitude that has to be examined. 

Constantly the Lord keeps speaking "Be still and know that I am God," from Psalm 46:10. The sad thing is I don't know that I've ever realized that those words are only the first part of that verse. This is what the rest says, "I will be exalted in the nations, I will be exalted on the earth!" How could I never have known those words? In fact, I don't know that I've ever heard them taught with the first part. This isn't to point fingers, but more to show how much I've still to learn about who God is. 

Today, He's given me today. Though I have plans to walk towards what He's called me to, I have to understand and be willing to adjust according to what His plans are. That means I have to stop looking at the big picture. This is what everyone wants, this is what has plagued my mind for so many months with the task of support raising so I can continue to do what God has called me to. I have wanted to provide all the facts and details and be able to speak them with a certainty. I have placed to much power in my words, and left out trusting His faithfulness explained throughout Romans. I've never known God to give the completed picture up front and not keep us relying on Him for more direction. So I tell you yes, I have my plans, and my timing... 

... but I. choose. His! 

I will never be in a place that I can say this is how everything is going to look, but I can say this is the path I'm on now. There is nothing wrong with planning, but as we all know there have never been plans that went absolutely the way we'd planned them. There are so many variables. I choose not to be afraid of the variables. I choose to believe the promises and words God has spoken to me, no matter what the path looks like. I can tell you my plan is to go France to learn the language, and take scouting trips into North Africa (and I feel this is the path God has shown to me) though I am not sure what it's going to look like in the process of getting there. I choose to follow Jesus. I choose to share His love. I choose to lay my life, my expectations, my rights, and even my dreams down to serve Him because He's worthy of it all. 

Today I realize all pressure again is taken off my shoulders to prove the value of the ministry I'll be doing to gain support of people... and just to love God, and share about the incredible relationship I have with Jesus, and let his light shine through. I will not let the calendar or deadlines create fear in me, but to stand still knowing He is God, in the midst of every ticking minute. He will be exalted in every Nation, after all those are His words!

Unwavering faith- It's what I desire

Romans 4:20-21 "No unbelief made him waver concerning the promise of God, but he grew strong in his faith as he gave glory to God, fully convinced that God was able to do what he had promised."

The above scripture is referring to Abraham, one of the "fathers of the faith." When I read this today it was as if I had to stop and re-read it over and over again. 

I would say I tend to be a person very driven by facts/proof, though not as uptight as some who may be considered logical thinkers. I want to be able to understand, and have a plan out of every situation I am. I want to know how things will work out. In fact, I've found that I've become less of a dare taker in some areas of life. I find myself saying, "this might hurt too much!" or I find myself passing judgement on how I would have handled a situation and even giving advice where it's unwarranted. Honestly, who am I to think my opinion matters so much? 

This past weekend I moved back in with my dad, who also has his girlfriend living with him. It was a long exhausting weekend that I am overly excited to say is finished. As I moved in though, I sensed a huge weight of how long is this going to be for? I have huge dreams and what I even feel direction from the Lord on what this year is going to consist of. Though I look at the time frames and the next few month ahead of me and wonder, "is it even possible?" I share what the plans are with people, and honestly, can't help at times but to look at the possible outcomes or what ifs? I know my dreams aren't something that I can achieve on my own. I first need God as my provider, and then his children to assist. As I've taught recently on dreams and achieving them one of the steps that are apart of seeing dreams come true, is perseverance through obstacles... well, I can boldly say I am in the meat of that step in the very moment. I look at my finances, I look at my relationships, I look at my connections and scheduling and become overwhelmed with all that is going to have to be done. How do I ask for help? What are the steps I need to take? When is the right time to pursue this said step? As you can tell I am full of many thoughts. 

The thing I'm realizing is in spite of these "thoughts/questions," this is where I must hold fast to faith and God's promises! What has he promised? What has he spoken? Do I ever need to doubt? I feel at times God used the many "men/women of faith" to remind us that they too were faced with unbelief, but they held on to the word of the Lord. I want to be that woman! I want to look at every obstacle, every battle, every moment of life with unwavering faith. It's what I desire!