Seasons Change

As the fall season is quickly approaching not only is the weather and daylight starting to shift, but I am also on the verge of a seasonal shift in my life as well. I just sent out my newsletters, and I am amazed by the fact that even the information on those are already out of date. 

I originally planned to work at Sherwin Williams up to January until last week during my quiet time God started to shake that up. It was this week that I realized my plans were just that, my plans. After seeking God I knew it was time for me to quit my job and really focus on support raising. So this week I gave a 3 week notice to my boss and it was amazing how much peace I received. I know beyond a shadow of doubt I was following exactly what God was leading. 

After the next three weeks I am going to be moving on to YWAM Jacksonville's campus, and then will be going through a staff training my first week there. The very next day on September 16 I will be embarking on a road trip back to TN on a deputation trip to meet and share with people about what God is leading me to do these next 2 years. I am fully trusting God to bring people who feel led to partner with me. 

(So if you are reading this and possibly feel led to meet with me please do not hesitate to contact me.) 

Quick update on some exciting things happening:

1. I am now over the worship events on the YWAM base. So I will be putting the students and staff into teams, contacting/inviting local worship teams to come and lead worship for our community nights and extended worship and intercession on Friday mornings, and will also get to play/lead worship on many occasions. 

2. I am getting the opportunity to plan and lead a team of individuals to Brazil next year on a short term outreach. (if interested let me know)

3. I will be helping with the fall school and mentoring 5 girls as they go through their discipleship training school (DTS). 

4. January I will be staff of the winter DTS, again mentoring girls, and working with the worship teams,  but I will also get the opportunity to lead and outreach to the Middle East. In preparation for this, I have began reading the book "Muslims, Christians, and Jesus" by Carl Medearis, which has already been soo informative. 

I am amazed because for the first time in a VERY long time I am going to be completely walking in what I feel God has called me to in every facet. I guess if you get nothing else from this blog I want you challenge you to be "All In" for what God is wanting to do in your life. Do not fear the unknown, but walking in complete faith that God will lead you every step of the way. Truly it's what I'm doing, and I can't wait to wake up every morning to see God in that day! 

Please be in prayer for me as I embark on this journey for: God's leading, wisdom, discernment and provision, also that I continue to grow in the depth of love I have for God. 

Also pray about how God may have you partner with me. If you would like any further information my email is mistylwallace85@gmail.com.

Blessings!

Barbie Doll Generation...

It's true we live in a Barbie and G.I. Joe generation, (especially in America). The majority of us who are now adults all had a toy of some sort the represented the perfect body type. The even sadder part is generations today now have internet/entertainment constantly reminding us of what the perfect image is. Living at the Beach this desire is soo prevalent. We are pounded with new diets, new medical procedures, new pills etc. that are supposed to assist you in gaining that perfect desirable body for all to love and appreciate. 

The first thing we have to realize is that no 2 people are the same, everyone has a different DNA makeup and it requires a different process to reach a healthy place in life. One thing I've noticed though is there are many times when one achieves that "healthy image" through an unhealthy avenue. I have seen in more scenarios than one where they received a medical procedure that one way or another caused them to loose weight at a rapid speed. after losing the weight because they were still unhappy emotionally it caused them to still seek things to make them happy and feel better about themselves and there was always something else that needed to be done like another medical procedure, or cheating on their spouses. Either way they thought that the weight loss would make them feel better, but all it changed was their images, it didn't fix the root of where their pain was really coming from. In fact, it's probably the root that caused the unhealthy self image. 

Why am I even discussing this today?? Well, like I said earlier, I now live at the Beach where the perfect bikini body is everywhere in sight. Me being a curvy woman, makes it easy for me to feel very uncomfortable in my own skin and even jealous of those who had thinness just come with their DNA makeup. I recently started working at a Cuban restaurant and there was this hostess that I kept having issues with, let's just say she really got under my skin. She walked around like she was hot stuff, flaunting herself at all the male servers, and the male servers definitely respond to her flaunting. I didn't know whether it was jealousy or the unfair treatment because of me being female that bothered me. So after a few days, I decided I needed to do everything I could to be kind to her no matter her treatment of me, (which worked btw) So I started to hear who she is from her own mouth. After many conversations what mattered the most to her, was how sexy, and sensual things were that she was involved in, she uses men to get free meals, and gifts and so on. As I got to know her more, I can't help but to be broken hearted for her because I could tell that she desired attention, and was willing to use her body to get it. So, it has made me wonder, what has made her so unhappy? 

Whether being over weight or super gorgeous we all have issues within our hearts where we aren't content completely with how we appear. The object is to attain contentment in a healthy way. When I got here about a month into my time, I did a juice fast which was partially because I wanted to lose weight quickly. Did I? Yes, I lost 11lbs in 1 week. Was that healthy? Absolutely not! I had planned to do the fast for 3 weeks, and had to stop because of different reasons, within in the 1st 2 days off of it I gained all my weight back. Since, that time I haven't really focused on losing weight ( and really haven't focused on foods I eat either) I have just gotten more active, working 2 jobs, walking on the beach as often as possibly, and just not focusing on losing weight but seeking to be in a healthier mindset through Christ. Since then I have lost all the weight I did in the week of fast plus some. Is there more discipline that I can do? Most certainly. My point is that we need to be in a healthy place spiritually first before emotional or physical health is even achievable. If you are unhappy in life identify the root, for example what has caused you to over eat/ or under eat? Once those problems are resolved then working towards a better physical health is going to be achieved in a healthy manor. 

Stop looking at the people all around you, because YOU are "fearfully and wonderfully made!"

Psalm 139:13-24

13For you created my inmost being;

you knit me together in my mother’s womb.

14I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;

your works are wonderful,

I know that full well.

15My frame was not hidden from you

when I was made in the secret place.

When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,

16your eyes saw my unformed body.

All the days ordained for me

were written in your book

before one of them came to be.

17How precious to^b me are your thoughts, O God!

How vast is the sum of them!

18Were I to count them,

they would outnumber the grains of sand.

When I awake,

I am still with you.

19If only you would slay the wicked, O God!

Away from me, you bloodthirsty men!

20They speak of you with evil intent;

your adversaries misuse your name.

21Do I not hate those who hate you, O Lord,

and abhor those who rise up against you?

22I have nothing but hatred for them;

I count them my enemies.

23Search me, O God, and know my heart;

test me and know my anxious thoughts.

24See if there is any offensive way in me,

and lead me in the way everlasting.

This video "Doll Face" depicts everything I am speaking about, Please watch!

Just thought I would share a little bit of what I have been thinking. :)

Balancing Act:

Imagine you are on a balance beam, your mind is thinking of all the possibilities of what could go wrong. You look from side to side trying with all your might to remain centered on the beam because the last thing you want to do is fail.

Now that you have a clear picture, have you ever realized that it is so much easier to balance if you look up then if you look side to side? Well, this is the perfect analogy for what has been going on as of late in my life. God has been showing me that I spend so much time thinking of all the possibilities of what could be and I either just freeze and don't move or I fall because I am not focused where I need to be focused.

On Sunday the sermon was the presentation of the Gospel from Galatians, and since I've been a follower of Christ for some time those sermons unintentionally I tend kind of zone out. This time there was conviction that struck my heart. God showed me that I have been in a "works" mindset. I had place expectations over myself that I had to perform at a certain level in order for it to be good enough for God. Which is completely wrong! I realized I was forgetting the power of the cross. So Sunday with Sarah Young by my side I confessed that I was done trying to impress God to gain His acceptance and released myself, flaws and all, back into His hands.   Seriously felt like I could breathe deeper, and it is just the beginning of the freedom that's available through Christ.

That is just a piece of what has been going on lately. Last week was my first time attending a small group that is part of the Eleven 22 Church. The cool thing is that I have instantly connected with the girls from the group. I wound up walking on the beach with one of the girls named Emily, where we just got to know each other more. (to preface what I am about to share it is necessary for me to say that before I came to Jacksonville I thought that God might be leading me to India, but after time of searching and praying India hasn't even came back up to me once. In fact, I haven't been able to stop thinking about Africa and working within an orphanage. Though I had no idea where in Africa.) Now that you know that, Back to Emily and my walk. She shared with me that I should meet this couple from Eleven 22 that stated an orphanage in Uganda named Okoa Refuge (www.okoarefuge.org). She had no idea about my thoughts on Africa, and for me hearing that is was in Africa and was an orphanage it definitely peaked my interest. The next day was Sunday (which I've already shared what happened that evening) but during that afternoon i found the website for the orphanage. I was the first time that i felt such a connection with a ministry in a long time. I literally started crying. Am I saying I'm called to go to Uganda, no. I do think, however, even if it was just to remind me of my love for missions again and to feel the Lord's love for the nations. I am hoping to meet with that couple soon.

So spare you a novel of a blog, here are a few things that have happened since I have realized to stop my balancing act:
1. I have started to get together with friends I've made and do nights with worship on the beach.
2. I got the opportunity to minister to a guy named Tez who is currently homeless in the beach area. (Please pray with me that God with grab his heart.)
3. I have started a search for a second job, of which I have been interviewed at a Cuban restaurant and the whole interview consisted of the manager and me talking about missions and God. At the end the manager told me that he had been having a rough day and was just ready to go home, he said that my interview with him brought refreshment and changed the view of his day.

Lastly, I don't say any of this to brag, but to say that if you put your focus on God and stop the balancing act you never know what could happen. I am excited for today knowing that he will direct me for tomorrow.

Please pray with me that God will continue to speak and lead me to opportunities to advance His kingdom. Also on my journey of getting out of debt, I never know when He's gonna send me!

Raw Emotion Realization

So I have been in Jacksonville for about 1 week and today is significant and most of the day I haven't even thought about why it is soo important.

Today is Good Friday, and while most people just thank God for sending Jesus to die so their sins could be forgiven because it's what they are supposed to do, I have spent most of my day feeling separated from everyone. After realizing this week that my whole life I have identified myself as being a person who is needed by others, not saying that to sound conceited, because I was able to be strong and encouragement to others when they needed it. In fact I prided myself in being able to lift others spirits when life got hard for them. For the first time in life, no one in my life needs me. As you can tell an identity crisis is in my midst. Being needed has always been something to give me fulfillment, and now that no one "needs" me, I have for a little bit of time been feeling more and more alone. Weird how you can be in a crowd of people, and feel misplaced. Btw, I am not typing all this to be a complete downer, but to share the raw revelation I received today while crying in my loneliness.

Earlier this week, I got the chance to sit with a gentleman by the name of Jesse who saw me sitting alone in a cafe while waiting on Haylee to get out of class. It was in that very moment that I was observing all the groups around me again feeling sorry for myself for being alone, that he just randomly walked up and asked if he could sit with me (and for those of you wondering he wasn't hitting on me) But he just sat and asked if I were staff at YWAM or whether I just happened upon the cafe. After some time, I shared what brought me to Jacksonville Beach, and that I was waiting on my sister who was in the DTS. After a period of talking we got on the topic at hand of "loneliness" and he reminded me that when I feel lonely to think of Jesus, when he said it I heard it but it hadn't quite hit the heart of what he meant, until today...

From the Garden of Gethsemane to the point of crucifixion on the Cross He was completely separated from all He loved, yet He was more connected to them than He ever could have been. One specific verse I want to point out is the moment right before His earthly body finally let go, Matthew 27:46 "About the ninth hour Jesus cried out in a loud voice saying, "Eli, Eli Lama Sabachthani?" that is "My God, My God, why have you forsaken me?""

It was the one and only time He was separated from Father God. Imagine the heartbreak, in fact that is what is said to have caused His death in John 19:34 " But one of the soldiers pierced His side with a spear, and immediately blood and water came out." Scientifically that explains events caused by a heart attack.

Though loneliness is in many ways painful, a few things I am able to remember is:

1. God will never leave me. (Duet. 31:6)

2. Remember Christ's sufferings (Col.1:24)

3. Loneliness can bring great growth and triumphs in God. It is in those moments where complete reliance on God is all you have and all you need, and that truly is the best place to be.

FYI, couple things that happened this week that may been seen as small, but were huge blessings...

1. My right turn signal went out on the drive down to FL, since I had to take Haylee to the airport this morning, I went yesterday to get it fixed. After a couple of stops I had to to go to an actual car shop where I just knew they were going to charge for the bulb and for the labor to replace it. Expecting about $20, the guy comes back in and says "O.K. you're set." I asked "how much is it?" He replied with "oh, you're fine you don't have to pay anything." I left in complete amazement and thankfulness.

2. Again at Cafe 119, a girl that I had met (one of Jesse's, whom I mentioned earlier, students) Melanie handed me a $15 gift card to a frozen yogurt shop, when I asked her "what's this for?" she just replied "I felt like I was supposed to get it for you." (seriously one of my favorite desserts)

3. At 2:30 p.m. yesterday I went for a job interview at Sherwin Williams (where the beach is visible from), I walked in the manager gave me a tour of the store, which took a total of 3 minutes because it's a small store and he said "well, I knew I was going to hire you before you even walked in the store, so you want to fill out paperwork?" (Note: they are hiring me in hopes that I'll be third key pretty quickly.)

All of the things in this blog from beginning to end are complete testimony of our God working in our lives in soo many different ways. The most important, being the transformation of our hearts. Though I am still not completely in tune to my full purpose down here, I do know God is showing me His faithfulness, and that He has never left me.

Happy Easter!

T - 6 days= ...

In T minus 6 days I move to Jacksonville Beach. Shocking!

This week I am trying not to get overwhelmed by everything that I need to do, and people that I want to see.

This weekend really got me thinking about everyone and everything here that I love, and thinking back to 2009 events.

2009 was an interesting year I had traveled to Brazil and felt the call to go back. It the midst of waiting for that day to come, I got the opportunity to serve in a local church very great, yet very different from my own. I didn't know how I was ever going to do the task that had been put in front of me to be the Interim Youth Director. In fact, I didn't know whether I even liked teenagers. None the less, I jumped in trusting that God had guided me to that point, and it was only by him I'd be able to complete the mission of teaching these very hurt youth to love and trust God again. In that short time, I made friendship with Bonnie/Mike Lilly that I didn't realize at that time would be such a huge relationship in my life today. I also didn't realize the impact I was making on those youth's lives. I went into the position knowing that October 4th I would be leaving to head back to Brazil.

The whole time I was serving I was looking forward to the next thing, and not realizing everything that was happening right around me. The day came for me to leave to move, and no one knew but I cried before entering my flight to leave: My family was in chaos, I truly loved my youth, those were among many other emotions that came flooding to the forefront. I truly questioned why God would send me away when I felt like people needed me at home. I went anyways.

While in Brazil, though I did get the chance to serve and teach, God taught me a lot, and a had a lot of time to be refreshed and separated from things that could have only caused me more harm. I look back now and realize Him sending me at the exact moment was perfect timing to grow/and strengthen for what I would come home to.

One great thing I came home to was Bonnie/Mike Lilly had left the church I was serving in and started attending my church Epiphany Baptist. Since I was a familiar face ( though I didn't truly know them) I made sure to talk to them every week. I am so thankful that I did! Bonnie Lilly has become like a second mom to me. I have been able to lean on her this past year and a half in ways that I could never explain. I feel in one way my time in that church was to develop the first initial connection with her. (I truly am soooo thankful for the Lilly's in many different ways, but that's a story for another day.)

Second thing, that I just recently realized, was the relationship and the impact I had on one particular youth. I just got the chance to meet with her for lunch, and she shared her heart, which of course blew me away! I am constantly shown how in every moment I should be reflecting God's love to others (though in many cases I find that hard to do). You don't realize the impact you could be having on an individual around you.

Now that I have thought backwards...lol... that brings me to why I have been thinking about the past. It is giving me strength to walk today.

This past weekend opened my eyes to the people and things I'm going to miss. I got to spend the whole weekend with family and friends celebrating my niece Zoey's 2nd birthday what included a party for her on Saturday and Veggie Tales Live on Sunday.

After her birthday party on Sunday, my heart was torn. I went back to asking God how can I leave now? I LOVE spending time with my niece and getting the opportunity any time I want to play with her. Also, I have become very close to my sister-in-law that is a friendship that I am soo thankful for. I want to get the chance to be with her too. The kids, and parents that were there also had me thinking about how much I don't want to not be apart of their lives. So needless to day I cried myself to sleep Saturday evening.

Then Sunday comes (though I was very excited to go see Veggie Tales Live) nothing could have prepared me for the heart ache that I would get when I went into lead Children's Worship for the last time for a while. They surprised me with miss you cards, and pictures they had colored for me. I fought back the tears, and instead jumped into worship and teaching them about obedience.

Sorry I am trying not to be long winded. But everything together hurts to think about leaving: family, friends, kiddos, ministry etc. Thinking back to God's perfect timing is what get's me through. So in t-6 days I leave to the unknown, but the past shows me that God is going to direct me and teach me, and I am sure that in the future I will look back to see the impact to huge step has made on others lives, as well as my life. This season to come I hope to not look forward to the future, but to be more aware of the happenings at this point in my life and what God is teaching now whether through me or to me.

On the Horizon

It's been a long time! But it's time to get back into the swing of things and share my thoughts,

and my conversations with God :)

Have you ever gotten that tug on your heart where you know it's time to go and things are about to drastically change in your life? That recently happened to me.

I have been working at Thomas Nelson Inc. for about 6 months now and when I got this job I thought, "Yay! I will finally be able to get my feet on the ground and maybe get my own apartment, and start my own life" thinking that is what would provide me contentment. Sadly, that plan I had for myself never seemed to ever present itself as a reality. Still struggling in many different facets of my life, and after hearing from many different people, that they thought it was time for me to go. I finally started to pray about the possibilities and what that would mean. Yes, I stopped planning my own life and started asking God for direction.

Well, He answered with a ton of bricks to my heart. I knew it was time to go, so what does this mean? Where should I go? I didn't want to go somewhere that I would have no support or ways to get plugged in. In my mind, I was like "ok, I'm moving, I will get a full time or a few part time jobs, wherever I go, so I can still try to continue paying off debt, and get my own apartment eventually." The location that seemed right was Jacksonville Beach, FL. I have connections down there, opportunities to get plugged in, and a place to stay for free. Note: at that exact time I would be going there, my best friends Sarah and Michael were going to be needing help. Michael will be departing to England for 6 weeks leaving Sarah and their twins by themselves for the time period. So my mind was made up, I was going, I was excited, and completely at peace about all of it. My family expressed no fears or worries, which made the decision even better. Not to mention I will possibly get to be apart of a ministry that is just like my dream ministry.

(FYI: In this process I wanted to make sure and go to all the people who were mentors, or leaders in my life and make sure I leave correctly, and respectfully.)

So the last mentor that I got to speak to was my Pastor David. Let's just say it went exactly how expected, but also in many ways was very painful. I left the meeting feeling confused, and doubting direction. I spent that evening, and the next 3 days in prayer in regards to the points that he had brought up, and seeking direction from God who would be the only one with wouldn't insert biases where they don't belong. Here is what I feel the Lord spoke.

1. I am supposed to go to Jacksonville Beach for at least 6 weeks to assist Sarah with their twins during the time that Michael is gone to England.

2. I am being called back into the missions field, and somehow Mumbai, India plays a roll. Scriptures that played into this, that when I read them during my quiet time gave me that uh huh moment: Romans 10:15, Isaiah 52.

3. That He is going to protect me: Psalm 121

So to summarize, what's on the horizon is that I am going to Jacksonville Beach April 1st knowing one thing, that God is going to direct me. Am I going to get a job... probably just so I can support myself for the time I'm down there, but it is looking like I am going to be going back on "faith-base" support living here in the upcoming future. I am looking/praying into the missions organization that is going to facilitate my getting back into the international field.

Stay tuned... I know this Journey is just beginning. And please be in prayer with me as I seek God's guidance.

"No one is good, not even one..."

Today as I was doing my quiet time I was reading through James. It seems to be a book of the bible the Lord is really wanting to teach me a lesson from. And in this book James is giving reminders of how the Christian Church is supposed to live. And just in the first 2 chapters I realized areas where I needed to repent and ask forgiveness for.

"God looked down from heaven,

on the sons of men

to see if there are any who understand

any who seek God.

Everyone has turned away

They have together became corrupt;

there is no one who does good, not even one"

Psalm 53:2-3

I realized I am constantly looking at people and not seeing anything but their exterior. I went to Walmart with family the other night and all I kept seeing were things to laugh at that people were wearing or how they presented themselves. Honestly not one "good" thing came out of my mouth. The sadder part about it is I didn't even realize it, and all I said was "what? I'm just honest." It wasn't until today that I realized what I was doing. I completely was neglecting that I am called to love not to judge others.

"Religion that is pure and undefiled

before God, the Father, is this: to visit orphans

and widows in their afflictions, and

to keep oneself unstained from the world."

James 1:27

I was stained was looking through world binoculars. How sad it is how imperfect I am. But the blessing is that no matter how undeserving I am Christ's Grace is sufficient.

"But he gives us more grace,

That is why Scripture says;

'God opposes the proud

But give grace to the humble'"

James 4:6

So Lord please forgive me for judging people that I do not know, for looking at the exterior instead of the heart. Father I understand more and more everyday that I am truly nothing without you. So Lord please help me become clean, and help me to renew my mindset. I want it to be transformed, and you are the only one who can do that!

"Come near to God and he will come near to you, Wash your hands,

You sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded.

Grieve , mourn and wail. Change your laughter to mourning

and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves before the Lord

And he will lift you up."

James 4:8-10

I know that I am not good. But through Christ I can be!