Freedom as we know it...

Freedom...

                  ...America is known as the "land of the free," but is she really? 

While watching the movie Desert Dancer, a based on true events movie set in Iran where a young man and a group he rallies together starts a dance group underground ultimately used as a creative political protest fighting for a free nation. (I will attach a link with it's trailer).
 Through watching it I felt my heart beating faster and faster because of the true fight for freedom, and the cost they were all willing to pay for one brief experience, even a moment of freedom. It mentioned many moments where artists have fought for freedom. Where they had to leave their own nations that they might receive the freedom they were hoping for. This is the reality in so many nations... people risking their lives to speak out for justice! 

It brings me to tears to think where our nation has come to, yet at the same time we are just at the cusp of discovering again what true freedom really looks like. It's when our rights are taken that we can fully discover and even taste the reality of FREEDOM. 

When the original settlers came to America is was a rebellious act. They were fighting and risking everything to gain freedom from persecution because of religion. Then they repeated the very act on the Natives, African Slaves, Irish slaves, etc. And now we see the fight for freedom within sexual orientation in the forefront of news articles, and a government who picks and chooses who's rights are forth fighting for. Not the life of an unborn child, but a puppy, not the sanctity of family but the right for families divided. What is all this rooted in? Will it ever end? Is there ever going to be a point in this world that we see true unity and no persecution? 

No, I'm sad to say we won't! Was this the original design? No! That's why there is this deep seeded desire for justice within every heart. Yet, your reality of truth sways how that justice is expressed. Your world view does make a difference in the way you live life. Whether what you decide is right, or wrong. But there is a conviction that goes deeper than your own learned perspective of right and wrong, its only found by the teaching of the Holy Spirit. 

Recently, I have been reading through the letters of Paul, first Galatians and now Ephesians, and have realized even he speaks of the shock of how even learned of the truth his later years reflect. It wasn't by words of man, but directly from the Holy Spirit given through Jesus Christ. Paul had everything in this world, he was one of the most learned men, and he took pleasure in killing Christians because he knew that that was the "right" path. He had no remorse until he had an encounter on the road with Jesus. He lost everything! He literally couldn't see! It was as if he received the physical reality of where his Spirit had been for so many years. He was blind, in need of help, and couldn't do things on his own. He went from being on top of the world and every leadership ladder, to being the very people he would trample over, only to find that his truth was deception and bondage. This is what it's all about Philippians 3:7-16: 

"7 But whatever things were gain to me, those things I have counted as loss for the sake of Christ. 8 More than that, I count all things to be loss [c]in view of the surpassing value of [d]knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, [e]for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them but rubbish so that I may gain Christ, 9 and may be found in Him, not having a righteousness of my own derived from the Law, but that which is through faith in Christ, the righteousness which comes from God on the basis of faith, 10 that I may know Him and the power of His resurrection and [f]the fellowship of His sufferings, being conformed to His death; 11 [g]in order that I may attain to the resurrection from the dead.

12 Not that I have already obtained it or have already become perfect, but I press on [h]so that I may lay hold of that [i]for which also I was laid hold of by Christ Jesus. 13 Brethren, I do not regard myself as having laid hold of it yet; but one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead, 14 I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.15 Let us therefore, as many as are [j]perfect, have this attitude; and if in anything you have a different attitude, God will reveal that also to you; 16 however, let us keep [k]living by that same standard to which we have attained."

Only one who has experienced walking in to true freedom would ever be able to speak about these things. The reality is the more we pursue our own freedoms derived from our flesh the more in bondage we will become. We will be exiled, silenced, and ruled by law. But true freedom requires surrender, courage, endurance, and laying down of ones life.

Even in this movie I saw a fight for freedom expression something we were created for. But until there is surrender to writer of this story there will always be the next battle and no end to your running and searching. The race for freedom will never end. There is rest, hope, and victory in Jesus. 

I pray today to see this to be something we see in the U.S.A. That she will be known as a nation where surrender and dependence on God is how she is governed. That she become a nation of refuge and Hope and that those in bondage will be set Free by the saving grace of Jesus. I pray the the Holy Spirit begin awakening hearts and and opening eyes to see what She should run towards, and giving wisdom and knowledge to our government for the voices that need to be heard to be the loudest among the nations. God will you reveal your freedom? 

Amen

P.S. 

As promised here is the trailer to desert dancer. I hope it opens your eyes and gives an awareness to fighting for what really matters!

It Feels Like Normal

Our group at Playa Delphines, Cancun 

I sit here tonight fighting to keep my eyes open, but I know it's been far to long since I've shared about what has been happening here. I have been in Mexico for almost three months and really it feels like normal life. I mean it's normal to...

... walk down the streets dodging dog poop
... not understand everything spoken around me
... sweat after bending over to put on my shoes
... eat tacos everyday
... always sing bilingual songs
... not be able to express my heart fully
... not flush my toilet paper
... live in a house with 12 people from 6 different nations ages 19-31
... miss my families big events
... always think about the ever changing exchange rate
... be stared at for being different in your neighborhood
... think of every possible way to prevent ants from destroying your food
... and so on and so on and so on...

...these are all realities of many missionaries around the world. But this is not a reality of my life that I live in Tennessee. For me to say adjusting to living in a nation that isn't my own hasn't come with difficulties would be a lie. But for me to say that I haven't learned every single day that I've been here and haven't adjusted to this life would also be a lie. Today I think I have officially hit the hill of culture shock. Don't get me wrong, it's not been difficult living here. It's become quite easy, but it doesn't change the fact that I do miss home at times. So much has happened with my family back home since me being here, and at times it's hard having only Skype or Facetime as my means of connecting with the world that is still happening back home. Truthfully us missionaries completely miss out at times. Many would say we don't miss home, and in a lot of ways I don't. I love experiencing new cultures, foods and language. I don't love missing my nieces 5th birthday and her telling me I missed it through Voxer. I don't love hearing about my sister getting engaged and just getting pictures of my mom and her shopping for her wedding dress. I don't love getting the news the my Dad is engaged and me not being in person to receive the news. Just because I'm gone from home doesn't mean I've forgotten. Just because I haven't been able to get on Skype and talk with you doesn't mean I don't want to. Truthfully, being away makes you realize how much family really means.

Today after church, I was overwhelmed and just wanted to hide in my little world not too sure exactly about what was going on inside of my heart until we ate lunch at "Johnny Rockets," I had a hand patted burger, fries and root beer float it was America on the table. Ha. Just the hour and a half that I was there my heart was so refreshed. I had a piece of home today. You see last week I began realizing that it's so easy for me to have a heart for other countries. I am so easily intrigued and moved by other cultures, but when it came to being American I wasn't proud. I always used to say I should have been born in a different country. Then last week God began revealing to me that "I'm American." It's a part of me. It's my identity. He chose me to live there. Don't get me wrong there are tons of things i disagree with, but I can't separate that from who I am. Every experience I've had has molded me and shaped me into the woman I am today. Same with every nation I've travelled up to now giving me more depths within my identity. But no matter what I will always be American. My family is there. They are apart of me, and I am apart of them. They know my heart at times better than I do. They understand my humor, they understand my moods, they understand my communication.

I know I have have went all over the place but what I want to emphasize is the fact that just because I'm called for a season to other nations doesn't mean I've forgotten you back home. In fact I've carried you with me. I show off your pictures, I rejoice in your triumphs, I cry when you're broken, and wish I could be there with you in person. On the opposite side of the coin, I wish you could be here with me experiencing what I am experiencing; laughter breaking language barriers, tasting Salbutes for the first time at a street vendor, playing with local children in a very low-income neighborhood, sorting half way rotted fruits and veggies for families who have no other option for food, rejoicing when it rains because it cooled the day, praying for individuals to encounter Jesus, worshiping God in local parks, doing evangelism in malls, etc. I literally am getting to see lives transformed by the Love of Jesus.

This is the life I've been called to. It's not always easy, and I miss a lot. But isn't Jesus worth it all? I know there is no other life I'd ever choose.

Connecting with the ladies circle at Cuna Maya through music.

Perfect Example

In the last few weeks I seriously have been being taken into a deeper understanding of who God is and in turn my identity has been being revealed. But this last week I received an understanding of God in such a way that I've never before seen.

Let me first start by saying I'm by nature a "fixer." I like to overcome obstacles and see individuals set free. Which in the right context is great, I can be someone who champions,  calls out truth, and identity in others because even when a person is what people would call "a bad person" I still see who they could be if surrendered to Christ. Well, in my past this gift has been very taken advantage of by men I have had relationships with. It would start by me seeing a need and trying to fill it, and in turn because of the confusion of my compassion I would develop an attraction to the person they could be instead of the reality of where they were. I wasn't just acting as their girlfriend in all honesty I was their "mother." So now here I am pouring every ounce of me into a relationship and receiving nothing back in turn. Some people respond by treating others the same way as their are being treated and looking for love from other people, but not me. I responded by pursuing them even more. I would fight for their attention anything they wanted or asked of me I would do. I mean anything. There are so many scenarios within the relationships that were unhealthy, but let me jump now to what I realized about my relationship with God and what I desire for my relationship with God. 

In the time of reflecting on my past relationships (which in actuality in the class was literally only 30 seconds maybe, because I knew the whole backstory already) I understood God's pursuit of me and it was incredibly convicting. God is wholeheartedly pursuing me and YOU. He always has, is now, and always will be. For the first time because of the memory of my pursuit of others love I could literally see what it looked like. No God doesn't do unhealthy things, but he will do whatever it takes to grab our attentions. He is the pursuer of our hearts. He aches when we, his children, turn from him and choose to give our attentions else where.

Sadly, that means I make his heart ache often.

You see what I realized is that in my relationship with God I'm very close to doing the same thing most of my ex's did to me, but to the purest, unconditional lover of my soul! The one difference is, I want to change. I want to give him more of my love, I want to know him more, I want to know what brings him joy, and what makes him hurt. Truly I want to respond to him the way he responds to me. He doesn't deserve only part of me, he is worth everything I could ever have to offer. I could live the rest of my life loving to the fullest of my ability and it still wouldn't amount to what he deserves. But in his Grace he joins me and walks with me as I am learning to die to self. Like this scripture

 Psalm 27:4

Or the song "This is My Desire," I do desire to give my full heart, and my full attention and I know that is the exact journey the Lord has me on, and I am so thankful I have him as a perfect example. 

Evangelism as I see it

Evangelism...

...just that word provokes fear in the hearts of people. Mostly because of the possible rejection they might receive.

Over the past few weeks God has really be stirring my heart. In fact every morning I wake about an hour before my alarm is even set to go off and have such a hunger and desire to hear from God. He has been transforming my heart and perspectives in such a huge way. I literally have been in awe of His creation from the dew covered spider webs, to the changing of the leaves. Not to mention when in our times of intercession for our overseas missionaries, and for unreached people groups I have received such a heart not just for a specific place I want to do ministry but a heart for the nations. Every time we intercede I literally weep at the thought of them not knowing God as I do. What a luxury I have in having a comforter, counselor, and friend who is the God of the Universe!

Last week I got the opportunity to teach the Discipleship Training School (DTS) at Youth With a Mission (YWAM) Nashville on evangelism. And as I was preparing for that teaching God was revealing so much to about the heart of evangelism instead of the common responsibility. What I came to realize even in myself the reason I always feared evangelism is because I always placed some sort of responsibility on myself for "something" to happen. So I was being driven by works instead of heart. So to put it plainly what does the heart of evangelism look like?

Again this is what I feel God has shown me and it may be different for you but let me continue:

He showed me that we first have to know the message we are delivering. When I say know, this isn't a knowledge that can be obtained just by reading but this is a heart knowledge that the Holy Spirit has given you. So what is the message? Who is Jesus really? How has it forever changed your life? These are all questions that are apart of the "knowing" the message. The Good News of Jesus Christ forever changes your heart. And honestly I feel like in these past few weeks and specifically this morning during our time of worship I received another piece of that understanding. You see to fully understand the Good News takes a constant relationship with Jesus. Because the more you understand and communicate with him the more depth he shows you. Truly you grow to love Him more and more every moment you invest in that relationship.

The second thing I felt like God showed me about the heart of evangelism is that every act Jesus did from feeding the 5,000 to healing the blind he first felt compassion for them. Saw the need and filled it. How can we take a message to a person if you aren't first willing to practically serve them, and also have a heart for them. So like the times of intercession I was expressing earlier... I have been really developing a heart of compassion but it first is developed in what I stated before in the first key... knowing the message.

The third thing is knowing the role you play, and the role the Holy Spirit plays in evangelism. You aren't the Hero, and you can't convince anyone of truth. Only the Holy Spirit has the power to transform hearts and renew minds. So that gives you the peace to know the pressure isn't on you. You aren't responsible for the way it's received you are to love them, and love God!

I could probably talk for hours about what God has been revealing to me as of late because it's been SO much. But I want you to know God wants the same for you. He wants you to pursue him to know him and to share what he reveals to you with others. Don't let the fear control you because fear really is rooted in works, which leads to the question again do you really know the Good News? When you know it it leaves no room for Fear... so that's evangelism as I see it! 

Light as a feather

No place I'd rather be...

I'm sure thats exactly what those cygnets were thinking as they floated in this pond. (Who knew a baby swan was called a cygnet? I didn't). I mean think about it, we humans get blankets made out of the down feathers because they are warm and cozy. Those babies get not only the warm feathers, but the security of their mother's wing to surround them. And that security is what reminded me of this picture. 

This weekend I've had some time to think as I've been house sitting while family is away. I got out my guitar and just started singing, as I was singing I was then convicted of my insecurity. I realized that I have been letting insecurity be apart of my everyday life, and so many things would come out of my mouth that I would later regret because of the status of my heart. My patience has been short, and my temper quick. Truthfully I've realized that my own worst enemy, myself, was creating a wedge between me and God. It was preventing me from being able to love and trust Him and others as I should. Not to mention pressures the I have been putting on myself to prove my value and worth.  In the midst of a waterfall of tears I asked forgiveness, but then I felt drawn to open my daily verse in my bible app. It was Psalm 91:1-2 "He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will abide in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say to the Lord, "My refuge and my fortress, My God, in whom I trust!" I knew instantly it was God's response to my crying out. He was reminding me where my security comes from.  You see we don't think of feathers something to keep us safe, but that's exactly where we are told to hide. When we place our trust and identity in the Lord, we find security and in that security we find identity and with that identity we can truly be light as a feather because we aren't carrying any of the burdens but just resting in His presence. 

Psalm 91:

1 He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High
 Will abide in the shadow of the Almighty. 2 I will say to the Lord, “My refuge and my fortress, My God, in whom I trust!” 3 For it is He who delivers you from the snare of the trapper 
And from the deadly pestilence. 4 He will cover you with His pinions,
And under His wings you may seek refuge;
 His faithfulness is a shield and bulwark. 5 You will not be afraid of the terror by night,
Or of the arrow that flies by day; 6 Of the pestilence that stalks in darkness,
Or of the destruction that lays waste at noon. 7 A thousand may fall at your side
 And ten thousand at your right hand,
But it shall not approach you. 8 You will only look on with your eyes 
And see the recompense of the wicked. 9 For you have made the Lord, my refuge,
 Even the Most High, your dwelling place. 10 No evil will befall you, Nor will any plague come near your tent. 11 For He will give His angels charge concerning you,
 To guard you in all your ways. 12 They will bear you up in their hands,
That you do not strike your foot against a stone. 13 You will tread upon the lion and cobra, 
The young lion and the serpent you will trample down. 14 “Because he has loved Me, therefore I will deliver him;
I will set him securely on high, because he has known My name. 15 “He will call upon Me, and I will answer him; 
I will be with him in trouble;
I will rescue him and honor him.

16 “With a long life I will satisfy him
And let him see My salvation. 

Life is a great adventure...

Where to begin?

This year has been what only can be described as completely different from what I expected last year as things were ending for the School of Worship.

Things I have not done:
1. Raise my support to the necessary level.
2. Move back to Jacksonville Beach.
3. Go to France for a scouting trip.

Things I have done:
1. Built relationships.
2. Encouraged many young people to go after the dreams God has placed in their hearts.

3. Helped multiple families by serving as a caregiver to their children.
4. Lead worship on a regular basis.
5. Teach the pre-k class at church.
6. Had a mega yard sale to raise funds towards France.
7. Go to Bonnaroo Music Festival with the Tennessee Baptist Convention to do ministry.

Holding Ashraf at "Little Egypt"

Me with new friends made at Bonnaroo            

8. Became an Aunt of 2 new nieces. Ellie Rose (now 4 mo.), and Audrey Lynn (now 4 wks).
9. Flew up to New York for a possible job only for God to show me I was still to pursue France, but hold my idea of what the plans looked like to get there loosely, and to plan on staffing the School of Worship again.
10. Assisted 4 different Short Term Outreaches for Youth With A Mission Nashville where we saw at least 10 people come to know Christ, did street evangelism, encouraged believers, worked in "Little Egypt," as well as challenged the young people to dig deeper in their personal walks with the Lord.
11. Newest thing was I got in a car accident, and am in the process of working through all logistics of insurance claims, and trying to rest enough to let my body heal. But a huge praise is that last month was my last month making a car payment due to my car being totaled. I had been about selling my car, and now (though it wasn't my idea of a good way for there to be resolution) one of the blessings out of the accident is I will no longer have that debt over my head because of the settlement. 1 step closer to being financially free!

(note: there have been a ton more things that have happened this year so far)

My car right after the wreck, it was a total loss.

So as you can see there has been an incredibly huge difference in what I planned, and what God has planned for this year. I am currently still trying to get my finances raised to start full time serving at YWAM Nashville and need at least $235 more in committed support in order to step more in that direction. But I know you wonder why you would give financially and what am I actually going to be doing.

 "Missions exists because 

Worship does not."

-John Piper

Many of you know that last year I got the opportunity to help lead a group of 12 students in pursing a deeper understanding of what it means to worship God. It was three months of intense lecture, then 2 full months of ministry/teaching/and encouraging both here in the U.S. then in Peru. It was so incredible to see the growth in each student. Getting to disciple many young people to pursue God in everything was such a blessing as well as getting to experience seeing peoples eyes opened for the first time to the Gospel of Jesus Christ while doing the outreach portion was nothing less than extraordinary! Well, as you read above in #9, I feel like God is having me put my scouting trip to France on hold because he is leading me to assist in staffing this next School of Worship again, but this time it's going to look different. In September (actually as soon as I can get in the offices) I am going to be recruiting for the school that will be ran by YWAM Nashville staff, but hosted in Cancun, Mexico. Why Cancun? Well, Hugo a dear friend of mine from Mexico City, Mexico came to America to take the School of Worship to one day be able to pioneer down in Mexico. Well, that time has finally arrived for him, and I am getting to be on that pioneering team. I am sure a lot of you could also re-call that one of the reasons originally I staffed the School of Worship was so that one day I too could pioneer the school elsewhere. John Piper says "Missions exist because Worship does not." I truly believe this statement to be true. Jesus told us " Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength and to love your neighbors as yourself" (Luke 10:27), so as soon as we start pursuing intimacy with the Father then an automatic response of worship happens. Where we worship atmospheres shift, hearts are transformed, and people see the Father for who he really is. SO all that being said why not go an disciple others to grow in intimacy with the Father? I desire to see all eyes opened to the truth of who Jesus really is! And worshiping Him is one way eyes will be opened to the truth.

"Life is a great adventure more than 

a destination"

-Jimmie Mac

All this is in steps towards North Africa. One day I will travel to France for a season of language learning and I am sure gaining more tools in my belt for N.A., but I'd rather go in God's timing then go and miss apart of the equipping God is doing now. His timing truly is perfect and every testimony we read about in the Bible shows that everything He does in the process all has purpose. I am going towards Mexico because I know the Lord will do something there that is vital for the future. I recently chatted with my friend Jimmie, who's been an incredible encouragement through his testimonies, and shared what I felt the Lord was speaking, and his response was "Life is a great adventure more than a destination, aye?" That is precisely how I want to walk with the Lord, one day at a time. I can plan and give myself ideas of where I'm headed as long as I keep my eraser on hand whenever the plans change according to God's will.

How you can begin giving and being apart of the discipleship of young people through YWAM Nashville as we pursue intimacy with the Father through worship. 

Thank you so much for taking time to read this and for considering to be a monthly partner. Without you I could never do what I have been called to do. 

Misty

 P.S.
If you have any questions please feel free to contact me via. Mistylwallace85@gmail.com

"It doesn't look anything like her"

Who are we? We are human, but what are we made up of? Over the last few weeks I have really come to realize or should I say understand how temporary this life that we live really is. In James 4 it states that our lives are "but a vapor." Here one moment gone the next. Over the last couple days though specifically this is something I've been thinking A LOT about due to my Step fathers mom passing away at the beginning of this week. She was one who lived a long life. She was raised through the great depression and multiple wars that our country has faced and I'm sure the stories she could tell were by far some of the best to be heard. I sadly didn't get the chance to hear them as it was a short time that I knew her. But going to the services these last couple days did leave a lasting imprint and thoughts in my mind.

On one side I heard her children and grand children share memories and their hearts about how incredible of a woman she was. The sanctuary was all decorated in honor of her, from pictures of her to an amazing display of the pieces of art she painted. It really was a beautiful service. Then on the other side right in the middle of the room was her body laying still in the coffin. Yes, I know you're thinking "well Misty, it was a funeral, that's generally what happens," and I know that, but it really got me thinking.

So you know, since going to past funerals I personally have never been ok with the body of the one who's passed away being put on display. I remember when a dear friend of mine lost his life I went up to the casket to pay my respects to see him one last time, and it ruined me. I looked at him, and all I could think was "thats not him, it looks nothing like him." Well, yesterday I heard the same things coming out of the mouth of Sweet Miss Louise's family. (I knew I wouldn't go up to the casket). So anyways, those words lead me down this thought process.

What are our body's other than a shell? So what are we really?
If we go all the way back to the words in Genesis where man was first created the body was formed out of dust but until God breathed his spirit into him he was lifeless. Nothing more than a puppet in His hand.. It also says Job 33:4 "The Spirit of God has made me, and the breath of the Almighty gives me life." That means everyone living today, all 7+billion of us, have life because of Him. Here's the thing, if he has the authority to give life, he is also the one who has authority to take it away. Which means are our lives really our own? Do we control the breath in our lungs? The thing is Him breathing life into us isn't for no reason. In Jeremiah God spoke to him stating "I knew you, before I formed you in your mothers womb." Wait, so the God of the universe had a specific plan for Jeremiah's life before he was even conceived? YES! That means if he did for Jeremiah he did for us too! It's like an artist before they paint their next piece... there is first nothing, then there's an idea of the creation and then the creation. Miss Louise gave incredible displays to this thought process. Each of us have purpose!

Now let me get back to the words "that looks nothing like her." You're right! Because it's not her. Like I said before out body's are nothing more than a shell, a home for our Spirit's to reside until the Father decides our purpose has been fulfilled. The body's of the dead will never look like the one you loved, because the Breath of Life is no longer pumping through them. Like stated earlier we need to be cautious to not take life in vain. It's fragile, it's a moment, it's gone in a blink of an eye. And only the giver of life can explain to you the purpose of your life. Do you know your Maker? Do you know your original design? No? Please do not wait until it's to late. Surrender to the one who "knew you before conception."

If you want to know more on how to surrender your life, please do not hesitate contacting me.

Blessings!