Perfect Example

In the last few weeks I seriously have been being taken into a deeper understanding of who God is and in turn my identity has been being revealed. But this last week I received an understanding of God in such a way that I've never before seen.

Let me first start by saying I'm by nature a "fixer." I like to overcome obstacles and see individuals set free. Which in the right context is great, I can be someone who champions,  calls out truth, and identity in others because even when a person is what people would call "a bad person" I still see who they could be if surrendered to Christ. Well, in my past this gift has been very taken advantage of by men I have had relationships with. It would start by me seeing a need and trying to fill it, and in turn because of the confusion of my compassion I would develop an attraction to the person they could be instead of the reality of where they were. I wasn't just acting as their girlfriend in all honesty I was their "mother." So now here I am pouring every ounce of me into a relationship and receiving nothing back in turn. Some people respond by treating others the same way as their are being treated and looking for love from other people, but not me. I responded by pursuing them even more. I would fight for their attention anything they wanted or asked of me I would do. I mean anything. There are so many scenarios within the relationships that were unhealthy, but let me jump now to what I realized about my relationship with God and what I desire for my relationship with God. 

In the time of reflecting on my past relationships (which in actuality in the class was literally only 30 seconds maybe, because I knew the whole backstory already) I understood God's pursuit of me and it was incredibly convicting. God is wholeheartedly pursuing me and YOU. He always has, is now, and always will be. For the first time because of the memory of my pursuit of others love I could literally see what it looked like. No God doesn't do unhealthy things, but he will do whatever it takes to grab our attentions. He is the pursuer of our hearts. He aches when we, his children, turn from him and choose to give our attentions else where.

Sadly, that means I make his heart ache often.

You see what I realized is that in my relationship with God I'm very close to doing the same thing most of my ex's did to me, but to the purest, unconditional lover of my soul! The one difference is, I want to change. I want to give him more of my love, I want to know him more, I want to know what brings him joy, and what makes him hurt. Truly I want to respond to him the way he responds to me. He doesn't deserve only part of me, he is worth everything I could ever have to offer. I could live the rest of my life loving to the fullest of my ability and it still wouldn't amount to what he deserves. But in his Grace he joins me and walks with me as I am learning to die to self. Like this scripture

 Psalm 27:4

Or the song "This is My Desire," I do desire to give my full heart, and my full attention and I know that is the exact journey the Lord has me on, and I am so thankful I have him as a perfect example. 

Evangelism as I see it

Evangelism...

...just that word provokes fear in the hearts of people. Mostly because of the possible rejection they might receive.

Over the past few weeks God has really be stirring my heart. In fact every morning I wake about an hour before my alarm is even set to go off and have such a hunger and desire to hear from God. He has been transforming my heart and perspectives in such a huge way. I literally have been in awe of His creation from the dew covered spider webs, to the changing of the leaves. Not to mention when in our times of intercession for our overseas missionaries, and for unreached people groups I have received such a heart not just for a specific place I want to do ministry but a heart for the nations. Every time we intercede I literally weep at the thought of them not knowing God as I do. What a luxury I have in having a comforter, counselor, and friend who is the God of the Universe!

Last week I got the opportunity to teach the Discipleship Training School (DTS) at Youth With a Mission (YWAM) Nashville on evangelism. And as I was preparing for that teaching God was revealing so much to about the heart of evangelism instead of the common responsibility. What I came to realize even in myself the reason I always feared evangelism is because I always placed some sort of responsibility on myself for "something" to happen. So I was being driven by works instead of heart. So to put it plainly what does the heart of evangelism look like?

Again this is what I feel God has shown me and it may be different for you but let me continue:

He showed me that we first have to know the message we are delivering. When I say know, this isn't a knowledge that can be obtained just by reading but this is a heart knowledge that the Holy Spirit has given you. So what is the message? Who is Jesus really? How has it forever changed your life? These are all questions that are apart of the "knowing" the message. The Good News of Jesus Christ forever changes your heart. And honestly I feel like in these past few weeks and specifically this morning during our time of worship I received another piece of that understanding. You see to fully understand the Good News takes a constant relationship with Jesus. Because the more you understand and communicate with him the more depth he shows you. Truly you grow to love Him more and more every moment you invest in that relationship.

The second thing I felt like God showed me about the heart of evangelism is that every act Jesus did from feeding the 5,000 to healing the blind he first felt compassion for them. Saw the need and filled it. How can we take a message to a person if you aren't first willing to practically serve them, and also have a heart for them. So like the times of intercession I was expressing earlier... I have been really developing a heart of compassion but it first is developed in what I stated before in the first key... knowing the message.

The third thing is knowing the role you play, and the role the Holy Spirit plays in evangelism. You aren't the Hero, and you can't convince anyone of truth. Only the Holy Spirit has the power to transform hearts and renew minds. So that gives you the peace to know the pressure isn't on you. You aren't responsible for the way it's received you are to love them, and love God!

I could probably talk for hours about what God has been revealing to me as of late because it's been SO much. But I want you to know God wants the same for you. He wants you to pursue him to know him and to share what he reveals to you with others. Don't let the fear control you because fear really is rooted in works, which leads to the question again do you really know the Good News? When you know it it leaves no room for Fear... so that's evangelism as I see it!